[Intro – call and response with Paul McDermott leading, and Richard Fidler and Tim Ferguson answering]
Is he the crocodile?
(No!)
Is he the crock o' shit?
(No!)
Is he the Crocker, Barry?
(Yeah!)

The Crocker-Barry!
(Crocker-Barry!)
Crocker-Barry!
(Crocker-Barry!)
Crocker-Barry
Crocker, Barry Crocker!
(TF – spoken:) Right here on The Money or the Gun – Mr. Barry Crocker!

[*Applause*]

[Verse 1 – Barry Crocker singing]
There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to Heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can gеt what she came for
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