Dentist! Steve Martin (Ft. Bill Murray, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold & Tisha Campbell)

[ORIN]
When I was young and just a bad little kid
My mama noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my mama said

[Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon]
What did she say?

[Orin]
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist (You'll be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain (Pain)
Son, be a dentist (Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane (Inhumane)
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

[Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon]
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?