The Old Woman and Her Cat (Dundee Cat) Marc Gunn

In an attic flat in Dundee town
A poor old woman spread the tale around
That she lived all her life in her old top flat
With no company but her old tom cat

Fifty years in a wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat

Now one night they sat by the fire quite glum
When who do you think came down the lum (chimney)
I’m your fairy Godmother, so have no fear
To grant three wishes they sent me here

The old woman looked down at her empty purse
I could always use some cash of course
The fairy godmother waved her wand around
And lying on the floor was ten thousand pounds

Now a lovely figure and a face divine
For just one night I wish were mine
Says the fairy godmother, “I’ll have a go!”
And she made her look like Marilyn Monroe

This lovely girl by the fire she sat
She turned her attention to the old tom cat
He’s my only love so here’s my plan
Tonight please make him a handsome man