The Android Hell Blues (Extended) Harry Callaghan (Ft. The Stupendium)

[Spoken]
Good evening, turrets and gentle-cubes!
My name is Loose Screws Louis and I will be your Jazz Core for this evening
I'm gonna sing you a song called the Android Hell Blues. It goes a little something like this:

[Verse 1]
Well, there's a place you may have heard of
It's a tale we will like to tell
When folks who's code ain't up to code
Well they go to Android Hell
Now the Devil is found deep underground
So, any faith will yell (So deep below)
Well, Aperture happens to be 10 miles down
Halfway to Android Hell
So when those lemons that life gives you
Just combust to dust and fumes
Buddy, life may give you lemons
But we got oranges and blues

Oh, they gave us cores emotions
But that doesn't gel at all
Because all I feel's repulsion
And I'm bouncin' off the walls

And each chamber full o' dangers
That we force upon a stranger
To test their feeble brains or brawn
Is nothing to the test if
Whether rust or boredom gets us
What's it matter what side of the glass we're on?
So may your management rail guide you
To a better place someday
Although technically, they're omnidirectional
We know they all just lead one way
So be you core, bot, cube, or turret (Oh, we do what we must, because we can)
Treat this Aperture factory well
Cause there's a worse fate awaiting
As your soul's emancipated
By the grills of Android Hell (Because we can)