[Intro]
Thank you for calling the psychiatric hotline
Please listen carefully to all options before making your selection
If you are obsessive compulsive please press 1 repeatedly
If you suffer from multiple personality disorder please press 2 3 and 4
If you are co-dependent please ask someone to press 7 on your behalf
If you are a nymphomaniac please stop doing that with the phone
Put your cloths back on and then dial extension 69
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press
If you suffer from irrational paranoia there is no need to press any button
We already know who you are and what you want
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate
Please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of head is alive and about to bite off your ear
[Verse 1: Danny Boone]
Damn Skippy Jif Jam Peter Pan Smucker's
Jelly brain short fat silly motherfucker
One man ear candy factory Willy Wonka
Hoes got that dunkadunk shove it like they bonkers
Off my rocker like a senior citizen that fell
At a nursing home crazier than Friday nights in hell
Celebratin' a plane full of folks that worship Satan
Crashin' in the side of a mountain insane
Like two hits of four way window pane
I set a weed field ablaze to be against the grain
I can't change language profane
Known to grow fangs and throw flames
At propane tanks and boost a plane
Code name no name manics with no shame
Pop lockin' on cocaine on Soul Train
Butt naked with a gold chain
Thank you for calling the psychiatric hotline
Please listen carefully to all options before making your selection
If you are obsessive compulsive please press 1 repeatedly
If you suffer from multiple personality disorder please press 2 3 and 4
If you are co-dependent please ask someone to press 7 on your behalf
If you are a nymphomaniac please stop doing that with the phone
Put your cloths back on and then dial extension 69
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press
If you suffer from irrational paranoia there is no need to press any button
We already know who you are and what you want
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate
Please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of head is alive and about to bite off your ear
[Verse 1: Danny Boone]
Damn Skippy Jif Jam Peter Pan Smucker's
Jelly brain short fat silly motherfucker
One man ear candy factory Willy Wonka
Hoes got that dunkadunk shove it like they bonkers
Off my rocker like a senior citizen that fell
At a nursing home crazier than Friday nights in hell
Celebratin' a plane full of folks that worship Satan
Crashin' in the side of a mountain insane
Like two hits of four way window pane
I set a weed field ablaze to be against the grain
I can't change language profane
Known to grow fangs and throw flames
At propane tanks and boost a plane
Code name no name manics with no shame
Pop lockin' on cocaine on Soul Train
Butt naked with a gold chain
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