Say Hello Laurie Anderson

A certain American religious sect has been looking at conditions of the world during the Flood
According to their calculations, during the Flood the winds, tides and currents were in an overall southeasterly direction
This would mean that in order for Noah's Ark to have ended up on Mount Ararat, it would have to have started out several thousand miles to the west
This would then locate pre-Flood civilization in the area of Upstate New York, and the Garden of Eden roughly in New York City
Now, in order to get from one place to another, something must move
No one in New York remembers moving, and there are no traces of Biblical history in the Upstate New York area
So we are led to the only available conclusion in this time warp, and that is that the Ark has simply not left yet

Let's compare this situation to a familiar occurrence:
You're driving alone at night
And it's dark and it's raining
And you took a turn back there
And you're not sure now that it was the right turn
But you took the turn anyway
And you just keep going in this direction
Eventually, it starts to get light and you look out and you realize
You have absolutely no idea where you are

So you get out at the next gas station and you say:

Hello. Excuse me. Can you tell me where I am?

You can read the signs. You've been on this road before. Do you want to go home?

Do you want to go home now?