CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jeremy: Hello! Hello, everybody! Yes, we're older, we're fatter, we're greyer, but we're back! We're back!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jeremy: And for the first time ever, we are being broadcast, simultaneously, right around the world. So, bonjour, g'day, moshi moshi und wilkommen! And coming up now is a taste of what you can expect over the next ten - yes, ten - weeks.
[Montage]
Jeremy: Are you ready?
James:Now!
Jeremy:We are revolutionising the world of cowboying.
Hammond: This is all perfectly normal.
Jeremy: Do not let American Top Gear lap British Top Gear.
May: Hammond!
WOLF HOWLS
Jeremy:Coming to get you, Hammond.
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
May: You need a new rear exhaust silencer.
SCREECHING TYRES
May: God's holy trousers!
May: Calm, controlled, smooth. Good for the patient.
Jeremy: Fuelled up. I'm amped up. I'm pumped up.
May: But it is The Stig's Australian cousin.
Hammond: Argh! Argh! Argh!
Jeremy: May God have mercy. What in God's name is happening?!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jeremy: That all looks very exciting, but we start tonight with our sensible hats on. You see, a few years ago, we staged a race across London. We used a car, public transport, bicycle and a speedboat, down the River Thames. And it was one of our more genuinely interesting tests.
Hammond: Yeah, it was, but it's always troubled us, because the bicycle, ridden by me, won. And the car, which is the whole point of this show, came home stone-dead last.
Jeremy: That's cos he was driving it.
May: Well, yeah. It wasn't entirely fair, was it? The car I had was a gigantic Mercedes off-roader. It's not really suitable for London traffic.
Jeremy: Yes, whatever, OK? We decided we would re-run the race, only this time, we'd use a car that was a little more suitable for city centre work.
May: Absolutely, the question now, though, was, which city? Because we'd already done London, obviously. So, Jeremy got a map and a pin and because he's very tall and he has monkey's arms THAT is where we ended up.
May: This is St Petersburg, in Russia - the most northerly big city in the world. And this is the car I'll be using.
QUACKING
May: This is the two-seat Renault Twizy. It costs just £7,000 and it's an all-electric car, designed specifically for the narrow streets of Europe's cities. With this, I can't really lose.
Hammond: Yes, he can, because I shall be using this It's the same sort of bicycle that Chris Froome used in this year's Tour de France. Now, it is expensive. £9,000. It's £2,000 more than James's car. It's a lot for a bicycle, but it's made of special carbon fibre, so it weighs just 860 grams. I love this thing. Every detail, it's just Look at that, it's magnificent.
May: Morning.
Hammond: Special.
May: Nice.
Hammond: Yeah, I'd say.
May: Bloody hell! ~ I know! ~ That's amazing.
Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy: Yeah. Not good for you, I'm afraid, Hammond. I've got some medical research here. That racing saddle will put between 25% and 40% of your body weight on your perineum, which is the bit of you between your anus and your scrotum. And, as a result, blood oxygen levels in surrounding areas ~ will drop by 80%.
Hammond: What are you saying? ~ I just Medical advice - cycling's good for you.
It's healthy ~
Jeremy: Wrong! ~ .
Hammond: gets your lungs working, non-impact.
Jeremy: Totally wrong.
Hammond: Good for your cardiovascular system ~ See.
Jeremy: Hello! Hello, everybody! Yes, we're older, we're fatter, we're greyer, but we're back! We're back!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jeremy: And for the first time ever, we are being broadcast, simultaneously, right around the world. So, bonjour, g'day, moshi moshi und wilkommen! And coming up now is a taste of what you can expect over the next ten - yes, ten - weeks.
[Montage]
Jeremy: Are you ready?
James:Now!
Jeremy:We are revolutionising the world of cowboying.
Hammond: This is all perfectly normal.
Jeremy: Do not let American Top Gear lap British Top Gear.
May: Hammond!
WOLF HOWLS
Jeremy:Coming to get you, Hammond.
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
May: You need a new rear exhaust silencer.
SCREECHING TYRES
May: God's holy trousers!
May: Calm, controlled, smooth. Good for the patient.
Jeremy: Fuelled up. I'm amped up. I'm pumped up.
May: But it is The Stig's Australian cousin.
Hammond: Argh! Argh! Argh!
Jeremy: May God have mercy. What in God's name is happening?!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jeremy: That all looks very exciting, but we start tonight with our sensible hats on. You see, a few years ago, we staged a race across London. We used a car, public transport, bicycle and a speedboat, down the River Thames. And it was one of our more genuinely interesting tests.
Hammond: Yeah, it was, but it's always troubled us, because the bicycle, ridden by me, won. And the car, which is the whole point of this show, came home stone-dead last.
Jeremy: That's cos he was driving it.
May: Well, yeah. It wasn't entirely fair, was it? The car I had was a gigantic Mercedes off-roader. It's not really suitable for London traffic.
Jeremy: Yes, whatever, OK? We decided we would re-run the race, only this time, we'd use a car that was a little more suitable for city centre work.
May: Absolutely, the question now, though, was, which city? Because we'd already done London, obviously. So, Jeremy got a map and a pin and because he's very tall and he has monkey's arms THAT is where we ended up.
May: This is St Petersburg, in Russia - the most northerly big city in the world. And this is the car I'll be using.
QUACKING
May: This is the two-seat Renault Twizy. It costs just £7,000 and it's an all-electric car, designed specifically for the narrow streets of Europe's cities. With this, I can't really lose.
Hammond: Yes, he can, because I shall be using this It's the same sort of bicycle that Chris Froome used in this year's Tour de France. Now, it is expensive. £9,000. It's £2,000 more than James's car. It's a lot for a bicycle, but it's made of special carbon fibre, so it weighs just 860 grams. I love this thing. Every detail, it's just Look at that, it's magnificent.
May: Morning.
Hammond: Special.
May: Nice.
Hammond: Yeah, I'd say.
May: Bloody hell! ~ I know! ~ That's amazing.
Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy: Yeah. Not good for you, I'm afraid, Hammond. I've got some medical research here. That racing saddle will put between 25% and 40% of your body weight on your perineum, which is the bit of you between your anus and your scrotum. And, as a result, blood oxygen levels in surrounding areas ~ will drop by 80%.
Hammond: What are you saying? ~ I just Medical advice - cycling's good for you.
It's healthy ~
Jeremy: Wrong! ~ .
Hammond: gets your lungs working, non-impact.
Jeremy: Totally wrong.
Hammond: Good for your cardiovascular system ~ See.
Comments (0)
The minimum comment length is 50 characters.
Information
Users of Guests are not allowed to comment this publication.
There are no comments yet. You can be the first!