Plain Clean Average Americans Alan Menken (Ft. Kate Wetherhead, Kevin Del Aguila, Rebecca Naomi Jones & Skylar Astin)

[MUSHARI, spoken]
Mr. Rosewater?

[FRED, spoken]
Yes?

[MUSHARI, spoken]
Mr. Fred Rosewater?

[FRED, spoken]
Yes?

[MUSHARI, spoken]
Sir... At this very moment, your Indiana relatives are swindling you and yours out of your birthright. Out of roughly eighty-seven million, four hundred seventy-two thousand, thirty-three dollars, and sixty-one cents. I am here to tell you about a relatively cheap and simple court action that will make those millions... yours.

[FRED, spoken]
Caroline...

[MUSHARI, spoken]
I have here some documents which will explain in further detail...

[FRED, spoken]
Caroline. I think you ought to read this.

[MUSHARI]
They’re plain, clean, average Americans
A dress from K-Mart
A Ban-Lon shirt
You’re plain, clean, average Americans
And you deserve to eat
Your just dessert
They’re normal, boring Americans
Like most Americans
And I assert
This country will itch
To help you get rich
My pitch will be slick and expert
We’ll make your cousin, the millionaire
Eat dirt