[Intro: Nurse Announcer]
One Doctor to the microphone please, that's One Doctor to the mic. Thank you!
[Verse 1: One Doctor]
Welcome to Two Point! It's the place to be!
From a painless little ailment all the way to A&E
Your county's death count was quite shameful to see
So now you'll have to pay to get away from that disease
[Hook: One Doctor]
Private healthcare! It's the way it's meant to be!
Where's the Welfare? When you're getting it for free?
But it's well fair! Just beware of the receipt
Two Point's the only joint for medical relief!
[Verse 2: One Doctor]
Check in - we'll get you diagnosed
Though the wait's a little long - I hope you brought a change of clothes
A patient must be patient - make the waiting room your home
Just do your best not to pay attention to the ghosts!
[Chorus: Announcer]
Two Point Hospital's the only place to be!
Though we're required to say there's other options, legally
[Verse 3: One Doctor]
We swear that we've prepared for you the very best of care
We've medical professionals and specialists to spare
We found them on the internet, but really don't be scared
Though one or two had doctorates in crayon, to be fair
One Doctor to the microphone please, that's One Doctor to the mic. Thank you!
[Verse 1: One Doctor]
Welcome to Two Point! It's the place to be!
From a painless little ailment all the way to A&E
Your county's death count was quite shameful to see
So now you'll have to pay to get away from that disease
[Hook: One Doctor]
Private healthcare! It's the way it's meant to be!
Where's the Welfare? When you're getting it for free?
But it's well fair! Just beware of the receipt
Two Point's the only joint for medical relief!
[Verse 2: One Doctor]
Check in - we'll get you diagnosed
Though the wait's a little long - I hope you brought a change of clothes
A patient must be patient - make the waiting room your home
Just do your best not to pay attention to the ghosts!
[Chorus: Announcer]
Two Point Hospital's the only place to be!
Though we're required to say there's other options, legally
[Verse 3: One Doctor]
We swear that we've prepared for you the very best of care
We've medical professionals and specialists to spare
We found them on the internet, but really don't be scared
Though one or two had doctorates in crayon, to be fair
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