[TIMMY, spoken]
Hello there, and welcome to the Whitest Kids CD. You're listening to me!
I want you to think of me not as a CD that you own, but as a friend that you can confide in. Your best friend.
We're gonna have so much fun together, and you can tell me all your thoughts and dreams, and I'll always be here for you. Whenever you're feeling blue, you can just put me on!
So, how was your day today? Yeah? Did ya have fun at school? Uh-huh? Really! They did! They did.
They think they're so fucking smug don't they. I bet they wouldn't be so smug if we brought a fucking gun to school. That would shoot the fucking smug right off their fucking faces, wouldn't it?
I bet they're talking about you right now. Well, guess what? We're talking about them! The only difference is that we're planning.
Where's your dad's gun? This is almost too easy. What we'll do is, tomorrow, right before first period, we'll- Oh! I think I hear your mom coming! Don't worry, I'll pretend that I'm a normal CD, I'll-I'll pretend to sing a song.
[TIMMY, singing]
London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down
London bridge is falling down, my-
[TIMMY, spoken]
Okay, the coast is clear, the bitch is gone. Now where were we? Oh yeah, murder. Wow, you and I are getting along great! I feel like we could do anything together.
Hey, I've got a crazy idea. While we're planning our murders, why don't you relax by masturbating? I'll even play some sexy girl sounds to help you out.
*Moaning begins and continues throughout*
Okay, first we'll need grappling hooks to get to the cafeteria roof. Keep masturbating. Then right as the kids are coming back from break through the quad, we'll propel through the skylight. Yeah! Keep masturbating. They'll be like fish in a barrel.
Hello there, and welcome to the Whitest Kids CD. You're listening to me!
I want you to think of me not as a CD that you own, but as a friend that you can confide in. Your best friend.
We're gonna have so much fun together, and you can tell me all your thoughts and dreams, and I'll always be here for you. Whenever you're feeling blue, you can just put me on!
So, how was your day today? Yeah? Did ya have fun at school? Uh-huh? Really! They did! They did.
They think they're so fucking smug don't they. I bet they wouldn't be so smug if we brought a fucking gun to school. That would shoot the fucking smug right off their fucking faces, wouldn't it?
I bet they're talking about you right now. Well, guess what? We're talking about them! The only difference is that we're planning.
Where's your dad's gun? This is almost too easy. What we'll do is, tomorrow, right before first period, we'll- Oh! I think I hear your mom coming! Don't worry, I'll pretend that I'm a normal CD, I'll-I'll pretend to sing a song.
[TIMMY, singing]
London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down
London bridge is falling down, my-
[TIMMY, spoken]
Okay, the coast is clear, the bitch is gone. Now where were we? Oh yeah, murder. Wow, you and I are getting along great! I feel like we could do anything together.
Hey, I've got a crazy idea. While we're planning our murders, why don't you relax by masturbating? I'll even play some sexy girl sounds to help you out.
*Moaning begins and continues throughout*
Okay, first we'll need grappling hooks to get to the cafeteria roof. Keep masturbating. Then right as the kids are coming back from break through the quad, we'll propel through the skylight. Yeah! Keep masturbating. They'll be like fish in a barrel.
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