Combat Chuck Five Iron Frenzy

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A real life superhero
He's got the Holy Ghost
He's either praising Jesus
Or he's making toast
Ain't got no superpowers
Ain't got no giant brain
But he would try and help you
If he heard you call his name

There's some kids there in some trouble
Need a Pepsi on the double
Then he shouts, not so quiet
"Would you like regular or diet?"
Found a campsite for some kids
By the stage is what he did
People ask why he's so nice
He wants to be like Jesus Christ

GO GO! GO GO! GO GO! GO GO!

Whenever you're in trouble
Whenever you're in need
Combat Chuck will help you
He nearly runs with speed
He's on the ball to save the masses
Got some thick old horn-rimmed glasses
His head is bald, he shaved it shiny
Kicks the devil in his hiney
People ask why he's so nice
He wants to be like Jesus Christ