Letters Sent Half Man Half Biscuit

Keeper you’ve just made a decent save
So why d’you feel the need to rant and rave
Screaming at defenders
Makes you look dead stupid
Especially when they haven’t done much wrong
Please cease the trait

Thank you to whoever found my purse
Also when I fell, the passing nurse
And when in my coma
As I tried to bludgeon
Chartist demonstrators in the square
Those on the ward
Yours, much restored

I disagree entirely with your choice
Peetie Wheatstraw had a better voice
I’d like to warn your readers
Stapeley Water Gardens
A nice day out but best to take a flask

Dear Miss McVey
It pains me to say
The school choir was dull
And the blame lies with you