Greyhound Shuffle Rubberbandits

(Spoken by Blindboy Boatclub)
This song is about my dog and also about a new dance called the Greyhound Shuffle. C'mon, boy, let's go into the pet shop and get you some bones; I'm so fond of you! That's a good boy, do your tricks for the man


I got a pet greyhound; he runs pure fast
And when he's in a race kid, he never comes last
He's got gorgeous paws; His name is Lavender
I circle off his fucking birthday on the calendar
I leave it hanging by his leash beside the banister
In the pet shop I only deal with the manager
And I buy his food in a big, cunting canister
The manager is sound and his first name is Alistair

(Chorus)
Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo...
The Greyhound Shuffle
Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo...
The Greyhound Shuffle
Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo...
The Greyhound Shuffle
Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo, doo...
The Greyhound Shuffle

Lavender, I know you'd never bite me
Or scratch your ass up on the carpet just to rile or spite me
Your hairy balls, your slender jaws!
If you were the pope, they'd call you Pope John Paws
When I have a rope, I take you on long walks
The monkey says 'ooh' and the seagull squawks
I don't give a fuck when the neighbors talk
They're just jealous of your figure and your greyhound's cock