My Grandpa’s Super Gay Bart Baker

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[Verse 1]
Summer after high school, I noticed it
You would make out with a picture of Zack Morris
And on your 80th birthday, you got a Tom Cruise tattoo
You like to give my boyfriends liquor and lock me in my room
Drink tons of appletinis and wear women's shoes
I found a stash of Playgirls in your room

[Chorus]
Grandma doesn't know
That you don't like chicks
And how you spend all day searching the internet for dick
In another life, maybe you'd be straight
But now I gotta say, I think my grandpa's super gay
My grandpa's super gay

[Verse 2]
I used to have a gerbil named Johnny Cash
One day, I found out that you stuck him up your ass
Your favorite singer's Cher, and you dress like Elton John
Whoa
You own the Twilight series on DVD
Caught you paused on Robert Pattinson, beating your meat
It's time to face the music, you are a wrinkled queen

[Chorus]
Grandma doesn't know
That you don't like chicks
And how you spend all day searching the internet for dick
In another life, maybe you'd be straight
But now I gotta say, I think my grandpa's super gay
My grandpa's super gay