Act 1, Scene 1: Horrible Theme/My Freeze Ray/Bad Horse Chorus Mutant Enemy Productions (Ft. Jed Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, Neil Patrick Harris & Zack Whedon)
[Track 1. "Horrible Theme"]
[Instrumental]
[When the theme finishes playing, the lights in Dr. Horrible’s lab come up. He is making another entry for his online blog.]
[DR. HORRIBLE (immediately as lights come up, evil laugh)]
AAAHHHH HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! So that's, you know...coming along. I'm working with a vocal coach; strengthening the "AAHHH". A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards. If you're going to get into the Evil League of Evil, I mean you have to have a memorable laugh. What do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death whinny. No response, BTW from the League yet, but, my application is strong this year; a letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor. That’s gotta have some weight, so, fingers crossed. (awkward silent pause) EMAILS! 2sly4you writes: “Hey Lyrxo” Wow! Sarcasm. That’s ORIGINAL! “Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers.” Well no, they’re not going to say anything in the press. But, BEHOLD. Transported from there to here.
[DR. HORRIBLE reaches off camera and brings into view a Ziploc bag with a metallic looking liquid inside. He pokes at it]
[DR. HORRIBLE]
The molecules tend to shift during the trans-matter... um... event, but they were transported IN BAR FORM and they clearly were...and by the way it's not about making money. It's about TAKING money. Destroying the status quo because the "status" is NOT "quo". The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it. I'm gonna...(sniffs bag) That smells like cumin. So, Trans-matter is 75% AND more importantly the Freeze-Ray is almost up. This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends. We have... OH! Here's one from our good friend Johnny Snow. "Dr. Horrible. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes..." Ok, DUDE you're NOT my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder... again... last week. LOOK! I'm just trying to change the world, OK? I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, there's kids in that park, so... Here's one from DeadNotSleeping. "Longtime watcher, first time writing." Blah blah blah blah... "You always say on your blog that you will 'show her the way, show her you are a true villain'. Who is 'her' and does she even know that you're”...
[As DR. HORRIBLE is reading the letter, he trails off. As this happens, we see the Laundromat and we can see PENNY doing laundry.]
[Track 2. "My Freeze Ray"]
[DR. HORRIBLE]
Laundry day, see you there
Underthings, tumbling
Wanna say, love your hair
Here I go, mumbling
With my freeze ray, I will stop the world
With my freeze ray, I will
Find the time to find the words to
[Instrumental]
[When the theme finishes playing, the lights in Dr. Horrible’s lab come up. He is making another entry for his online blog.]
[DR. HORRIBLE (immediately as lights come up, evil laugh)]
AAAHHHH HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! So that's, you know...coming along. I'm working with a vocal coach; strengthening the "AAHHH". A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards. If you're going to get into the Evil League of Evil, I mean you have to have a memorable laugh. What do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death whinny. No response, BTW from the League yet, but, my application is strong this year; a letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor. That’s gotta have some weight, so, fingers crossed. (awkward silent pause) EMAILS! 2sly4you writes: “Hey Lyrxo” Wow! Sarcasm. That’s ORIGINAL! “Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers.” Well no, they’re not going to say anything in the press. But, BEHOLD. Transported from there to here.
[DR. HORRIBLE reaches off camera and brings into view a Ziploc bag with a metallic looking liquid inside. He pokes at it]
[DR. HORRIBLE]
The molecules tend to shift during the trans-matter... um... event, but they were transported IN BAR FORM and they clearly were...and by the way it's not about making money. It's about TAKING money. Destroying the status quo because the "status" is NOT "quo". The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it. I'm gonna...(sniffs bag) That smells like cumin. So, Trans-matter is 75% AND more importantly the Freeze-Ray is almost up. This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends. We have... OH! Here's one from our good friend Johnny Snow. "Dr. Horrible. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes..." Ok, DUDE you're NOT my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder... again... last week. LOOK! I'm just trying to change the world, OK? I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, there's kids in that park, so... Here's one from DeadNotSleeping. "Longtime watcher, first time writing." Blah blah blah blah... "You always say on your blog that you will 'show her the way, show her you are a true villain'. Who is 'her' and does she even know that you're”...
[As DR. HORRIBLE is reading the letter, he trails off. As this happens, we see the Laundromat and we can see PENNY doing laundry.]
[Track 2. "My Freeze Ray"]
[DR. HORRIBLE]
Laundry day, see you there
Underthings, tumbling
Wanna say, love your hair
Here I go, mumbling
With my freeze ray, I will stop the world
With my freeze ray, I will
Find the time to find the words to
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