[Verse 1]
Unfortunately, I am
My own dog, my own fur companion
My own old lady on a forum
Who types in glittery decorum
Unfortunately, I take
Myself out walking every day
I hand my legs to the feet and
I give my head to the leash
[Chorus]
Every other day I’m wondering
What’s a human being gotta be like?
What’s a way to just be competent?
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day I’m wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I’m certain’s mad incompetence?
These sweet instincts ruin my life
[Verse 2]
I can't smell well, or tell the time
Not K through 8, nor K dash 9
For human, grossly underqualified
For canine, grossly overqualified
Unfortunately, I am
My own dog, my own fur companion
My own old lady on a forum
Who types in glittery decorum
Unfortunately, I take
Myself out walking every day
I hand my legs to the feet and
I give my head to the leash
[Chorus]
Every other day I’m wondering
What’s a human being gotta be like?
What’s a way to just be competent?
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day I’m wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I’m certain’s mad incompetence?
These sweet instincts ruin my life
[Verse 2]
I can't smell well, or tell the time
Not K through 8, nor K dash 9
For human, grossly underqualified
For canine, grossly overqualified
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