Doug Stamper (Advice Raps) Open Mike Eagle (Ft. Hannibal Buress)

[Intro]
Rappers belong to things
They got affiliations and shit and I do too
But fuck gangbanging, yeah

[Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle]
Life's kind of sucky bro
If you hearing this consider yourself lucky though
Sharks in the boardroom program for guppies
Baby cuddle bunny in the box full of puppies, sho
No perm, grow a 'fro like Pam Grier
Don't say 'bro' bruh say manssiere, yeah
Any karaoke fans here?
If so, never get drunk and do Kashmir
It's not a good choice
And white rappers quit rapping in your hood voice
Sound like a clown hundred-pounder that took 'roids
Rrra-rrra-rrra-rrra-rrra, rrra-rrra-rrra...
Don't do videos for tracks with your back to the cameraman
Phones, get the family packing big data plan
'99 Problems' was a damn good summer song
If you got more than like three then something's wrong

[Chorus: Open Mike Eagle]
You're drowning in quicksand
You're flailing in the water
Your hands are waving all frantic
You'll die within the hour
Unless you do what we tell you to do
Me and my whole fam we Doug Stamper
(Yeah, yeah, and here's the...)
So you should do what we tell you to do
(Mmmhhh-ahhh, timing, shit!)
I say, good God damn we Doug Stamper