Valentine’s Day Mark Rivers (Ft. Andrew Rannells, Fred Armisen, Jak Knight, Jason Mantzoukas, Jenny Slate, Jessi Klein, John Mulaney, Maya Rudolph, Nick Kroll & Richard Kind)

[NICK BIRCH, spoken]
Guys, can we just tone it down this year for Valentine's Day?

[ELLIOT BIRCH, spoken]
Tone it down? Nickey, Valentine's Day— it's wonderful, it's-it's—

[DIANE BIRCH]
It's a day of hugs and snuggles

[ELLIOT BIRCH]
A time to spread your loving seeds

[NICK BIRCH]
It's a rolling, growing pink snowball
Of stress that no one needs

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
It's unhealthy expectations

[DEVON FURTIVE-OLDMAN]
An opportunity to impress

[JESSI GLASER]
It's a yearly grim reminder
That your life's a fucked-up mess