[Intro: Dan Bull & The Stupendium]
Sleeping deep beneath the sleepers of the isle
There's a demon creature dreaming, heathen and reviled
Sees no rhyme or reason but for feasting when he's riled
Better let him be, lest you are sure to see the smile
Of sixteen tons of scurryin' death
Smolderin' souls through funnel of red
With a pick-like grin on the front of his head
Sat atop a most illogical number of legs (Hahahaha)
[Verse 1: Dan Bull & The Stupendium]
Tickets, please! Let me tell you the tale
Of a wicked beast that'll follow your trail
Through the valleys and vales, on your tail day and night
There'll be chaos on the rails when the railway strikes
Stop, take stock, try to gauge the situation
'Fraid your train has been derailed, there's no use waiting in the station (Hmm)
Every engine's been dismantled, there's no other service coming
Charles is leadin' by example, he's the only train that's running
All in all, we're in a doozy of a mess
So, all aboard the WTF express
Should you want to stay safe, then I wouldn't play games
Or you'll learn another way of saying, “Run away! Train!”
[Chorus: Dan Bull & The Stupendium]
Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead
But you might just find that behind it instead
Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred
And we're next on the menu if we've left him unfed
Charlie
Your timetable says it's almost time for tea
Charlie
And we've laid on quite a spread, as you can see
There's a choo-choo train coming after you
Food chain's gone a bit askew
Won't catch that train
If it's gonna catch you
Sleeping deep beneath the sleepers of the isle
There's a demon creature dreaming, heathen and reviled
Sees no rhyme or reason but for feasting when he's riled
Better let him be, lest you are sure to see the smile
Of sixteen tons of scurryin' death
Smolderin' souls through funnel of red
With a pick-like grin on the front of his head
Sat atop a most illogical number of legs (Hahahaha)
[Verse 1: Dan Bull & The Stupendium]
Tickets, please! Let me tell you the tale
Of a wicked beast that'll follow your trail
Through the valleys and vales, on your tail day and night
There'll be chaos on the rails when the railway strikes
Stop, take stock, try to gauge the situation
'Fraid your train has been derailed, there's no use waiting in the station (Hmm)
Every engine's been dismantled, there's no other service coming
Charles is leadin' by example, he's the only train that's running
All in all, we're in a doozy of a mess
So, all aboard the WTF express
Should you want to stay safe, then I wouldn't play games
Or you'll learn another way of saying, “Run away! Train!”
[Chorus: Dan Bull & The Stupendium]
Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead
But you might just find that behind it instead
Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred
And we're next on the menu if we've left him unfed
Charlie
Your timetable says it's almost time for tea
Charlie
And we've laid on quite a spread, as you can see
There's a choo-choo train coming after you
Food chain's gone a bit askew
Won't catch that train
If it's gonna catch you
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