If I Were a Rich Man Zero Mostel

[TEVYE, spoken]
Dear God, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honor either. So what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?

(sung)
If I were a rich man
Ya ha dee ha dee ha dee ha dee ha dee ha dee ha dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man
I wouldn't have to work hard
Ya ha dee da dee ba duh ba duh ba dee ba dee ba dum
If I were a biddy biddy rich
Yaidle deedle daidle daidle man

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen
Right in the middle of the town
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below
There could be one long staircase just going up
And one even longer coming down
And one more leading nowhere, just for show

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese
And ducks for the town to see and hear
Squawking just as noisily as they can
And each loud *bird noises*
Would land like a trumpet on the ear
As if to say, "Here lives a wealthy man"
Oy