To Keep My Love Alive Vivienne Segal

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(Verse)
I've been married and married
And often I've sighed
I'm never a bridesmaid
I'm always the bride
I never divorced them
I hadn't the heart
Yet remember these sweet words:
"Till Death do us part."

(Chorus 1)
I've married many men, a ton of them
And yet I was untrue to none of them
Because I bumped off everyone of them
To keep my love alive

Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me
At night he was a horse's neck to me
So I performed an appendectomy
To keep my love alive

Sir Thomas had insomnia
He couldn't sleep at night
I bought a little arsenic
He's sleeping now all right