Bagpipes from Baghdad Eminem

[Intro]
Oh, it's music to my ears, oh, man
How can I describe the way I feel?
Fucking great, man
Okay, let me see
How could I begin?

[Verse 1]
Locked in Mariah's wine cellar, all I had for lunch
Was bread, wine, more bread, wine and Captain Crunch
Red wine for breakfast and for brunch
And to soak it up, an in-between snack, crackers to munch
Mariah, what's ever happened to us?
Why did we have to break up? All I asked for was a glass of punch
You see, I never really asked for much, I can't imagine what's
Going through your mind after such
A nasty break-up with that Latin hunk
Luis Miguel, Nick Cannon, better back the fuck
Up, I'm not playin', I want her back, you punk
This is Hello Kitty bedspread, Satin Funk
Mixed with Egyptian, with a little rap and punk
Zapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, crunk
And, yeah, baby, I want another crack at ya
You can beat me with any spatula that you want
I mean, I really want you bad, you cunt
Nick, you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junk
Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood
So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture