STAN
Nobody on the road

RICHIE
Nobody on the beach

EDDIE
I feel it in the air

BILL
The summer's out of reach

RICHIE
I’m Richie Tozier. I use humor to mask my various and deep insecurities. Like of how much I fuck your mom

EDDIE
I'm Eddie Kasbrack. I'm the runt of the group and I’m always scared I'm gonna die. Luckily, I have this inhaler, which makes everything better. Oh, so much better

STAN
Hi, I'm Stan Uris, and I'm the Jewish kid who's about to get Bar Mitzvah'd!

RICHIE, EDDIE, BILL
Mazel Tov!

STAN
Thanks, guys
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