Jeff Sums It Up Original Broadway Cast of Tootsie (Ft. Andy Grotelueschen & Santino Fontana)

[JEFF SLATER, sung]
Not long ago, there was a man
An angry guy, awkwardly aging
Committed but kinda self-destructive, whining his way
Through life 'till ambition

And circumstance
Conspired to deliver an opportunity
No one except a megalomaniacal actor
With nothing to really lose would consider
So then, of course, this guy puts
Oh, yeah, this guy is you, in case you were wondering
Puts on a dress, a wig, heels and actually gets the part
And surprisingly, everything goes very well
But then, and how do I say it, you fucked it up
You really fucked it up

You got applause, you got the fame
Except it wasn't exactly for you
And now you're in love with a girl
Who thinks you're somebody that you're not
And in case you forgot, I'll tell you who you really are
You're the guy who fucked it up
You really fucked it up

Listen, Mike, I know when Mr. Opportunity
Comes tip-toeing and teasing
You're the kind of man who grabs him by the balls
But then when he screams and says:
"Let go of my balls!"
You just keep on squeezing
Well, that's the time you gotta...