Role Model Eminem

[Intro]
Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me
Mic check, one-two, we recordin'?

[Verse 1]
I'm cancerous, so when I diss, you wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I'll strangle you to death, then I'll choke you again
And break your fuckin' legs 'til your bones poke through your skin
You beef with me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
I get too blunted off of funny home grown
'Cause when I smoke out, I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
(Oh no) So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does
Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin' tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch)
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out (C'mere) his blond dreads (Fuck you)
Every girl I ever went out with has gone les'
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people
And drink, jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill
'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white? I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?