The Woodbridge Dog Disaster Stan Rogers

There was an old woman in Woodbridge there was
So proper and tidy and all of them things
She would wander all day with her duster in hand
She was one of those women who clean where they stand
And while she is at it she sings, boys
And while she is at it she sings
(And you sing too)

Now there's no doubt about it her house was a show
With everything proper and stowed in its place
And that's why her dustbins had a shed of their own
Like a mirror each one of those bins it had grown
You could read every line in your face, boys
You could read every line in your face

Now there's nothing the matter with tidiness, no
No matter with keeping your house up to scratch
But these bins were located one side of a yard
Where a Doberman Pinscher was prowling on guard
Trained to kill if you lifted the latch, boys
Trained to kill if you lifted the latch

Now it's all very well to protect what is yours
And it's better not leaving temptation around
But a job of the dust is rewarding enough
And there's nothing like taking the smooth with the rough
To be savaged by some bloody hound, boys
To be savaged by some bloody hound