My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block & Andrew Rannells

[JASON]
My father's a homo
My mother's not thrilled at all
Father homo =
What about chromosomes?
Do they carry?
Will they carry?
Who's the homo now?
My father said that one day I'll grow up to be president
And that idea's not so wild
I don't live the life of a normal child

'Cause I'm too smart for my own good
And I'm too good for my sorry little life
My mother's no wife
And my father's no man
No man, at all

[TRINA, spoken]
Honey, why don't you go out and play?

[JASON, spoken]
No!

[Jason begins to play chess with himself. Quickly playing one side, turning the board, moving a piece, turning the board again, etc.]