The Pirate Song Ray Stevens

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Sixteen men on a dead man's chest...yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

(Captain) Avast there mates, ye're sailin' with Long John Black Beard, Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook, scourge of the bounding main. Bloodthirstiest, black-heartiest pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas, ha, ha, ha! What say ye we hoist the Jolly Roger, heel over the yonder Spanish galleon. Lay a few broadsides agin' her timers, swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses in our teeth cut 'em to ribbons and split the booty. What say ye to that, me hearties? Heh! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

(Twit) I don't like it....

(Captain) You don't like it?

(Twit) I don't like it and I don't wanna do it. It's tacky,...tacky, tacky...and don't look at me that way

(Captain) Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?

Chorus I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance

(Captain) You want to sing and dance, heh! You don't like plundering, aye? Well, shiver me timbers 'ow 'bout treasuring, huh? Rubies, emeralds and pearls, gold doubloons and British sovereigns. Silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels, necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size, fit for the crown heads of Europe, aye? And all buried in a pirate's chest and I just happen to know where. How about that me bloodthirsty buckos, heh? Ha, ha, ha!

(Twit) I don't like it.....

(Captain) You don't like it?

(Twit) I don't like it and I don't want it....

(Captain) He don't want it