JOSH: Just feel like I’m faking it
PAULA: Tim, you have never given your wife an orgasm
REBECCA: Fake being satisfied?
MRS. HERNANDEZ: Sounds like a vibrator
REBECCA: You’re doing it wrong
PAULA: Not even once
Such profound humiliation
Such all consuming shame
The buzzing from the bathroom
Has finally been explained
That was no electric toothbrush
No facial scrub device
And now I finally know the meaning
Of the words “Tim, that was nice”
We used two different positions
Every other Sunday night
All her writhing, moaning, sighing
I thought I was doing it right
But as I drifted off to slumber
Thinking I had brought her joy
She would slink off to the bathroom
With that blasted plastic toy
PAULA: Tim, you have never given your wife an orgasm
REBECCA: Fake being satisfied?
MRS. HERNANDEZ: Sounds like a vibrator
REBECCA: You’re doing it wrong
PAULA: Not even once
Such profound humiliation
Such all consuming shame
The buzzing from the bathroom
Has finally been explained
That was no electric toothbrush
No facial scrub device
And now I finally know the meaning
Of the words “Tim, that was nice”
We used two different positions
Every other Sunday night
All her writhing, moaning, sighing
I thought I was doing it right
But as I drifted off to slumber
Thinking I had brought her joy
She would slink off to the bathroom
With that blasted plastic toy
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