Marlo & Shuffle T vs. Dirtbag Dan & Caustic King of the Dot (Ft. Caustic (Battle Rapper), Dirtbag Dan, Marlo (Battle Rapper) & Shuffle T)

[Round 1: Marlo and Shuffle-T]
[M] Fuck the U.K.!
[S] Fuck the monarchy
[M] Fuck tea
[S] Fuck, you know...the weather
[M] Having a Prime Minister is gay
[S] And our accents a joke
[M] Daniel we know
[S] We just covered 99 percent of the angles you wrote
Cause when you’re against international opponents you’re never direct with your lines
[M] Instead you rely on every cliché that exemplifies the well-known nation from where they reside
If we were from The Federated States of Micronesia, the fuck would you say, Dan?
You’d have a terrible time
[S] You need to stop depending on stereotypes you fat, gun-toting American guy
[M] And after recycling his leftovers from Deffinition
They’re gonna call us homosexual, there’s a given
So we thought we can make this more interesting
And came up with a clever system
Every time they say that we are gay and don’t have sex with women
We’ll add another bar to our third round about Dan’s dad’s meth addition
You’re both called Dan
Thanks for the name flip opportunities
[S] It’s Dan and Dan
And even the "and" in Dan and Dan is an anagram of Dan
So really it’s Dan and an anagram of Dan so really it's a Dan and nad of Dan
AKA Dan, Dan, Dan
[M] Dun dun dun!
[S] Dan Dan Dan
This Daniel here is so excited about this
He’s the only person here who has been calling this match great
When he got it confirmed he lifted up Caustic like Pat Stay
[M] His wife cooked him a big old breakfast this morning with ham steaks
And all four of our faces drawn in the pancakes
[S] The caption underneath in powdered sugar read “Hope you all have a grand day”
[M] In preparation for today, this dude created a mood playlist of tunes and named it “The Shufflo Vibes”
It’s literally “Happy” by Pharrell Williams duplicated a hundred times
But let’s be real, we’re grateful to be on the West Coast
You’ve got to laugh, most of the battles here today are proper hard
These people here have paid and they want some bars
And somehow us ridiculous comic farts have got the part
At an event in which Diz, Verb and Hoffa star?
[S] What the fuck?
[M] Yo, Lush, listen
Thanks a million, but you’re a bad magician, but this is not our card
[S] Surely this is a purely big mistake
I bet when you got the flights paid for we knew something was up, dude
Surely now no one with any money will trust you
I can imagine him and Lush sitting just buzzing on mushrooms
As soon as they hit confirm payment they went, “The fuck did we just do?”
[M] And Caustic, what the hell are you doing?
You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan
I think you’ve hit your head, you know?
You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan!
That’s a bigger risk than wearing those
{points to Shuffle's shoes}
Did you not see the flyer?
Did it not click that this was set in stone?
I know they call you "The Career Ender", I just didn’t think they meant your own
[S] Caustic is so pissed
What the fuck are you doing here, Mr. Serious?
What were you smoking?
I can imagine when the trailer dropped and he watched the whole thing he called up Dirt like, “Oh man, I kind of thought you were joking.”
[M] Mate, you didn’t think this through a damn bit
Dan’s shit, trust me you can’t lift this human baggage
And you know the kind of shit we pull
Just silly kookie antics
Fuckin’ immature dramatics
This battle will destroy the image you’ve established
[S] Let’s take your interview with Rap Grid
You just battled Aye Verb, you said you wanted Big T
Shit you even hinted moves to Patrick
You’re a serious dude and that’s it
[M] But I guess in a room with Dan it’s simple who the man is
[S] So now you’re battling us
[M] Two nincompoops with wack kicks who sniff the boot and rap sick
[S] Just some kids who grew up acting and switched to do some rapping
[M] We’re so incredibly overrated there’s no sense in us going places
And all that’s left we’re going to say is
[Both] Caustic this is who you’re battling!