The One With the Butt Friends (TV)

PRE-INTRO SCENE: A THEATRE (THE GANG ARE IN THE AUDIENCE WAITING FOR A PLAY OF JOEY'S TO START)

RACHEL: (READING THE PROGRAM) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!

CHANDLER: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...

PHOEBE: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (GESTURING) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!

(THE LIGHTS DIM)

ROSS: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.

(LIGHTS GO UP ON THE STAGE: JOEY (AS FREUD) TALKING TO A FEMALE PATIENT)

JOEY: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear.
(GOES INTO A SONG AND DANCE NUMBER)
All you want is a dingle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang...

(INTRO)

SCENE 1: THE THEATRE (JUST AFTER THE PLAY; EVERYONE IS APPLAUDING)

(AS SOON AS THE CAST HAS LEFT THE GANG ALL GROAN AND SIT DOWN HEAVILY)