Master of the House Original London Cast of Les Misérables (Ft. Alun Armstrong & Susan Jane Tanner)

[THÉNARDIER, greeting a new customer]
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of them crooks
Rooking the guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon viveur
Glad to do my friends a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Picking up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I'll do whatever pleases
Jesus, then I'll bleed 'em in the end