If Shania Was Mine Cledus T. Judd

This is what Cledus T. wants...

If Shania was mine
Wouldn't be proud of me
Couldn't hardly blame her
Cuz I'm so derned ugly
But on our first date
We could have a good time
If I got her on the moonshine

If Shania was mine
Say it fit just right
Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight
And there's no way
I'd have a bad hair day
Cuz I'd buy a new toupee'

Oh, I'd love to seduce her
But she married her producer
Now all I do is pray, pray, pray!
She'll get a deevorce someday

If Shania was mine
I'd probably lose my mind
If she only squeezed me, teased me
Pleased me one good time
And if she only knew
All the things I'd do
I'd be the lawn mowin, crop growin
Tater peelin, house cleanin kind
If Shania was mine