Hi, I'm the Rap Critic, and… look, I know pop songs are typically lazily-written, blatantly sexual, and just the lowest common denominator when it comes to portraying any sort of intelligence, but this is just… okay, let's start from the beginning
This is Kid Ink. His main attribute is that he has tattoos. Like, a lot of tattoos. Other than that, he, uh… look, he's the new version of whoever had a hit song last year, but didn't stick around long. For all intents and purposes, he's j-kwon version 10 for the year 2014. And if you don't remember who J-Kwon is, well, that's exactly my point. So, here's Kid Ink's 2014 reimagining of the 4,348th song about being in the club and wanting to have sex with a girl, but… in the assembly line of mediocre pop/rap songs, something happened in the process that made this particular product defective. and it starts with Chris Brown, who should be weaving one of those suggestive yet subtle pop song choruses that R and B singers are known for, right?
"Baby let me put your panties to the side (uh)"
….You know, that's romantic…
But seriously, wow, talk about cutting to the chase. You know, most songs usually have some some sort of build up to an explicit lyric, some set up of some kind. Jeez, even Enrique Igacias at least begged her pardon first *"Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude"* before saying, *"But tonight, I'm fucking you"* . But when you just kick off a song with "Baby lemme put your panties to the side" I can't help but feel like we skipped a few steps. It just seems a little contrary to the smooth R and B singer thing he's trying to pull off
"I'mma make you feel alright
‘Cause I'mma give you what you need, yeah"
Okay, now we're back into the vague, obviously sexual but in no way descriptive style of songwriting that you guys are known for!
"Mami you remind me of something
But I don’t know what it is (I don't know)"
….*amused, quick-off-and-back glance*
"You remind me of something (uh)
But I don’t know what it is right now"
…*chuckling* You've gotta be kidding me! Are you really gonna base the hook of this chorus around an unfinished pick up line?
"You remind me of something (uh)
But I don’t know what it is right now"
This is Kid Ink. His main attribute is that he has tattoos. Like, a lot of tattoos. Other than that, he, uh… look, he's the new version of whoever had a hit song last year, but didn't stick around long. For all intents and purposes, he's j-kwon version 10 for the year 2014. And if you don't remember who J-Kwon is, well, that's exactly my point. So, here's Kid Ink's 2014 reimagining of the 4,348th song about being in the club and wanting to have sex with a girl, but… in the assembly line of mediocre pop/rap songs, something happened in the process that made this particular product defective. and it starts with Chris Brown, who should be weaving one of those suggestive yet subtle pop song choruses that R and B singers are known for, right?
"Baby let me put your panties to the side (uh)"
….You know, that's romantic…
But seriously, wow, talk about cutting to the chase. You know, most songs usually have some some sort of build up to an explicit lyric, some set up of some kind. Jeez, even Enrique Igacias at least begged her pardon first *"Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude"* before saying, *"But tonight, I'm fucking you"* . But when you just kick off a song with "Baby lemme put your panties to the side" I can't help but feel like we skipped a few steps. It just seems a little contrary to the smooth R and B singer thing he's trying to pull off
"I'mma make you feel alright
‘Cause I'mma give you what you need, yeah"
Okay, now we're back into the vague, obviously sexual but in no way descriptive style of songwriting that you guys are known for!
"Mami you remind me of something
But I don’t know what it is (I don't know)"
….*amused, quick-off-and-back glance*
"You remind me of something (uh)
But I don’t know what it is right now"
…*chuckling* You've gotta be kidding me! Are you really gonna base the hook of this chorus around an unfinished pick up line?
"You remind me of something (uh)
But I don’t know what it is right now"
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