Skyrim Accident Helpline Dan Bull

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Are you a Skyrim resident?
Had an accident that wasn't you're fault?
Then call the Skyrim Accident Helpline now

"I used to be an adventurer
But I took an arrow to the knee"
"I was right in a dungeon, with my companion
When he carelessly stepped on a pressure plate
And I was smashed in the face
With a spiky metal grid
I had to spend two weeks off work
Recoverin' in the Temple of Kynareth"
"I was in the middle of an epic battle
With a frost dragon
When I slipped on an icy patch it had made
And grazed my shin"

When restoration spells just aren't enough
Skyrim Accident Helpline can help you
Claim the compensation you deserve
There's no Fus
If you don't win
You won't pay a single Septim
So give us a shout on
Lun-lo-mey-vo-ov-aus
No lollygagging!