[Intro: Mark Douglas]
Hey girl. It's been a long time since I've done this
Sex, I mean. You see, I'm just getting over a really painful divorce
So you might wanna lower your expectations just a tad
I wanna go ahead and apologize in advance for what is probably going to be an underwhelming experience for you
FYI, lately I haven't been able to have an orgasm without crying
Just something I've been working on with my shrink
Am I talking too much?
This is gonna be awkward
[Verse 1: Ahmir]
You're thinking that he's gonna love you and it will be hot
You're wondering if he'll love you all night (probably not)
He's always been dumbfounded by female anatomy
Be his Watson, girl, and help him solve this mystery
(Now he's nauseous) from the pressure plus he's really drunk
(His prophylactic) is suffocating his poor junk
(He's self-conscious) about his man boobs and his hairy chest
He took off his shirt but he's still got a furry vest
[Verse 2: Mark Douglas & Ahmir]
It's not uncommon for me to have performance anxiety (it's very common in old guys)
It's not helping that a bunch of dudes are singing right behind me
And now you're freakin' cus you thinkin' what the hell have I gotten myself into
As you look in his eyes, you'll soon realize that you won't be coming too
Hey girl. It's been a long time since I've done this
Sex, I mean. You see, I'm just getting over a really painful divorce
So you might wanna lower your expectations just a tad
I wanna go ahead and apologize in advance for what is probably going to be an underwhelming experience for you
FYI, lately I haven't been able to have an orgasm without crying
Just something I've been working on with my shrink
Am I talking too much?
This is gonna be awkward
[Verse 1: Ahmir]
You're thinking that he's gonna love you and it will be hot
You're wondering if he'll love you all night (probably not)
He's always been dumbfounded by female anatomy
Be his Watson, girl, and help him solve this mystery
(Now he's nauseous) from the pressure plus he's really drunk
(His prophylactic) is suffocating his poor junk
(He's self-conscious) about his man boobs and his hairy chest
He took off his shirt but he's still got a furry vest
[Verse 2: Mark Douglas & Ahmir]
It's not uncommon for me to have performance anxiety (it's very common in old guys)
It's not helping that a bunch of dudes are singing right behind me
And now you're freakin' cus you thinkin' what the hell have I gotten myself into
As you look in his eyes, you'll soon realize that you won't be coming too
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