[Intro]
I write to you for the last time from my deathbed, oh, dear mother
My health is gone, I'm fading fast, and I fear I'll not recover
I've lost a hundred pounds, my hair, my sight, and this illness had its nexus
The day I judged the red hot chili cook-off in Jalapeño, Texas
[Verse 1]
Well, as you know, in Tennessee, you fed us normal things
Yeah, like Tabasco-seasoned barbecue and spicy chicken wings
But I've got a friend down here in Texas who's a chili cook-off judge
And on the day of the statewide cook-off, he lay sick and could not budge
[Verse 2]
"I'm sicker than a dog", he said, "you'll have to take my place"
"Now all you do is pick the chili you like after givin 'em all a taste"
So of course, I did what I had to do to help out my old friend
But that decision ruined my life and brought me to this sorry end
[Chorus]
Do not eat Texas chili, mama, or you will surely die (You will surely die)
Don't even mention Texas chili to me, I will tell you why
Just the thought will fire up memories that'll wreck my solar plexus
Of the day I judged the red hot chili cook-off in Jalapeño, Texas
[Verse 3]
They led me to the judge's stand and sat me in my place
Put three bowls of chili in front of me, just to sample, just to taste
Number one was "Dragon's Breath" and it had such a nice aroma
I took a big ol' bite, heh, nearly slipped into a coma, oh
I write to you for the last time from my deathbed, oh, dear mother
My health is gone, I'm fading fast, and I fear I'll not recover
I've lost a hundred pounds, my hair, my sight, and this illness had its nexus
The day I judged the red hot chili cook-off in Jalapeño, Texas
[Verse 1]
Well, as you know, in Tennessee, you fed us normal things
Yeah, like Tabasco-seasoned barbecue and spicy chicken wings
But I've got a friend down here in Texas who's a chili cook-off judge
And on the day of the statewide cook-off, he lay sick and could not budge
[Verse 2]
"I'm sicker than a dog", he said, "you'll have to take my place"
"Now all you do is pick the chili you like after givin 'em all a taste"
So of course, I did what I had to do to help out my old friend
But that decision ruined my life and brought me to this sorry end
[Chorus]
Do not eat Texas chili, mama, or you will surely die (You will surely die)
Don't even mention Texas chili to me, I will tell you why
Just the thought will fire up memories that'll wreck my solar plexus
Of the day I judged the red hot chili cook-off in Jalapeño, Texas
[Verse 3]
They led me to the judge's stand and sat me in my place
Put three bowls of chili in front of me, just to sample, just to taste
Number one was "Dragon's Breath" and it had such a nice aroma
I took a big ol' bite, heh, nearly slipped into a coma, oh
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