![Sofa [Swiss Cheese/Fire!] - Frank Zappa](/uploads/posts/2020-01/1364194.jpg)
FZ: This is a piece for those of you in the audience who happen to speak German. And if you do happen to speak German after this piece you'll probably regret it . .
One, two, three . .
FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . .
Mark: Oh, thank you Frank. Hiya, friends! What a life! I can't begin to tell you. I mean, today as I was walking here, just like every place else I go, people walk up to me and they go, "Mark, Mark, Mark." (Bark! Bark! Bark!) A hare-lipped dog. "Mark, are you kidding?" And all I can say back to them is friends, friends, I am not kidding. I feel great. I mean I'm portly, and I'm maroon. What else could you ask for? Can anybody here in this audience, in our vast audience back there, even you in the cheap seats, can you guess what I am?
Howard: No, we can't guess what you are
Jim: We can't guess what you are
Mark: Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues. Clue number one (and I've already given this away), I am portly, Clue number one. I am portly, I am clue number one
(Mark! Mark!)
Howard: I still don't know who you are
Mark: OK, then I'll give you clue number two, and this is very important to the girls in the audience, I am double knit
Mothers & Audience: Ohhhhh
Mark: I stretch. And clue number three . .
Howard: Still don't know who you are, though
Mark: Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
FZ: Does it matter with a response like that?
Mark: Clue number three, and these are for the people standing right in front the vocal PA-mike, ICH BIN MAROON!
Howard: Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so!
FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, way back when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . .
Mark: Thank you, Frank, hiya friends
FZ: Trying to convince each and every member of this audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less than a fat maroon sofa suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness, a light shineth down from Heaven. And who should appear but the Good Lord himself and his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell
Howard?: Down Wendell, down!
FZ: And he was feeling fine that day. And if there was one thing that he could use It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell. And he looked at the sofa, and he said unto himself, "This sofa is all right except that what it needs is a floor." And so in order to attain the floor, he consulted with the celestial corps of engineers and addressed them formally with a little song in Deutsch, because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business, take it away, God . .
One, two, three . .
FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . .
Mark: Oh, thank you Frank. Hiya, friends! What a life! I can't begin to tell you. I mean, today as I was walking here, just like every place else I go, people walk up to me and they go, "Mark, Mark, Mark." (Bark! Bark! Bark!) A hare-lipped dog. "Mark, are you kidding?" And all I can say back to them is friends, friends, I am not kidding. I feel great. I mean I'm portly, and I'm maroon. What else could you ask for? Can anybody here in this audience, in our vast audience back there, even you in the cheap seats, can you guess what I am?
Howard: No, we can't guess what you are
Jim: We can't guess what you are
Mark: Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues. Clue number one (and I've already given this away), I am portly, Clue number one. I am portly, I am clue number one
(Mark! Mark!)
Howard: I still don't know who you are
Mark: OK, then I'll give you clue number two, and this is very important to the girls in the audience, I am double knit
Mothers & Audience: Ohhhhh
Mark: I stretch. And clue number three . .
Howard: Still don't know who you are, though
Mark: Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
FZ: Does it matter with a response like that?
Mark: Clue number three, and these are for the people standing right in front the vocal PA-mike, ICH BIN MAROON!
Howard: Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so!
FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, way back when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . .
Mark: Thank you, Frank, hiya friends
FZ: Trying to convince each and every member of this audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less than a fat maroon sofa suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness, a light shineth down from Heaven. And who should appear but the Good Lord himself and his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell
Howard?: Down Wendell, down!
FZ: And he was feeling fine that day. And if there was one thing that he could use It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell. And he looked at the sofa, and he said unto himself, "This sofa is all right except that what it needs is a floor." And so in order to attain the floor, he consulted with the celestial corps of engineers and addressed them formally with a little song in Deutsch, because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business, take it away, God . .
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