God, Abraham, and Xanax Jesse Welles

[Verse 1]
God said unto Abraham, "Take this Xanax bar
Don't talk no more about all of the war
And the cancer goin' on"
Next day, Abe thought he'd bring it up at the local town hall
He said that the air's hard to breathe
And the water ain't clean
They said, "We're forwardin' your call"
He was on hold three days straight
When Jesus picked up the line
He said, "Don't question the guns
And if you wanna have fun
Just be grateful that I'm on your side"

[Chorus]
God made the planet
Man made the Xanax
Elon, get Mars ready
Saddle up a big-ass starship wagon
'Cause the bars are too damn heavy

[Verse 2]
Jesus said, "I got a friend down at Pfizer
He helped my buddy Jordan Peterson
We'll get it in quick, and we'll get you a script
You're gonna love the diazepam"
Jesus asked him when the head wound happened
He said, "It was somewhere in between
A four-year degree and a-wonderin'
If Iraq had WMDs"
Abraham prayed up to the Lord that night
He said, "Lord, what am I to do?
All the bushes are burned and the money's been earned
And the interest rates are through the roof"