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Ethel The Frog / Piranha Brothers - Monty Python
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Ethel The Frog / Piranha Brothers Monty Python

Ethel The Frog / Piranha Brothers - Monty Python
[BBC Announcer: Eric Idle]
And now, choice of viewing on BBC Television.
Just started on BBC2, the semifinal of episode 3 of Kierkegaard's Journals, starring Richard Chamberlain, Peggy Mount, and Billy Bremner. And on BBC1 now, Ethel the Frog.

(Theme plays)

[Announcer: Terry Jones]
Good evening. On Ethel The Frog tonight, we look at violence. The violence of British gangland.
(Theme fades out)
Last Tuesday, a reign of terror was ended when the notorious Piranha brothers Doug and Dinsdale, after one of the most extraordinary trials in British legal history, were sentenced to 400 years of prison for crimes of violence. Tonight, Ethel The Frog examines the rise to power of the Piranhas, and their subsequent tracking and capture by the brilliant superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs, of Q Division.

[Host: John Cleese]
Doug and Dinsdale Piranha were born on probation in Kipling Road, Southwark. Their father, Arthur Piranha, a scrap-metal dealer and TV quizmaster, was well-known to the police, and a devout Catholic. In 1928, he had married Kitty Malone, an up-and-coming East End boxer. Doug was born in February 1929, and Dinsdale, two weeks later. And again, a week after that.

Their next door neighbor, Mrs. Lamberta Simmel:

[Lamberta: Michael Palin]
Kipling Road was a typical East End Street. People in and out of each other's houses, with each other's property, all day long. Hoo hoo! Yes, they were a cheery lot. Cheery and violent. I remember Doug was keen on boxing. But when he learned to walk, he took to putting the boot in the groin.

[Host]
When the Piranhas left school, they were called up, but were found by an army board to be too mentally unstable, even for national service. Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, they began to operate what they called The Operation. They would select a victim, and then threaten to beat him up if he paid them the so-called "protection money." Moments later, they started another operation, which they called The Other Operation. In this racket, they selected another victim, then threatened not to beat him up if he didn't pay them. One month later, they hit upon The Other Other Operation. In this, the victim was threatened that if he didn't pay them, they would beat him up. This, for the Piranhas, was the turning point.

[Announcer]
Superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs, of Q division takes up the story.

[Harry: Jones]
Doug and Dinsdale now formed a gang, which they called The Gang, and used terror to take over nightclubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos, and race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC, they were, for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat. As their empire spread, however, we in Q division were keeping tabs on their every movement by reading the colour supplements.
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