Pam Victoria Wood

[Hook]
Da, da-da, da-da
Da-da da-da-da
Da, da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da

[Verse 1]
Can I tell you who I am?
I'm Pamela Patricia, but they call me Pam
I don't like shorts or slingback shoes
My only pair of trousers are my gardening trews

[Verse 2]
I don't say who, I do say whom
I never use the toilet, just the smallest room
I don't say gay, I still say queer
I think that Mussolini had the right idea

[Vocalized Hook]

[Verse 3]
Got engaged in '62
Got married in the April, in a nice pale blue
It all turned sour, to say the least
I was stuck in Abagelli with a sex-crazed beast