Chris Chan Christian Weston Chandler (Ft. Alphonse Uprising)

I don't wanna be a friend o' Christian Weston Chandler
I'm not a hedgehog, I can't zap to the extreme
I wanna be the one who wants to be that one troll, Clyde Cash
I ain't no trash, but I can mess with Sonichu because we can

He's around the corner, stalking at a gal pal
So tired of living life as a virgin
He and his yellow hedgehog, Sonichu, were waiting
For the right moment, but it's gone too soon

Megan, Kacey, Ivy, and McLerran
Has had enough with Chris Chan's dirty, not-so-purty ways
I checked his status on the wikipedia
So far, Nintendo turned down Chandler's video game

I don't wanna be a friend of Christian Weston Chandler
I am a human, I don't zap to the extreme
I wanna be the one who wants to be that one troll, Clyde Cash
I ain't no trash, but I can mess with Sonichu because we can

Jerkops everywhere, there's nowhere you can go now
Mary Lee Walsh, ready to attack you
10 years on the love quest, so far, no one loves you
His masculinity is lost to a phone call

I don't wanna see a, listen to a, be a Tomgirl
I am just a human, not a fatty, bratty twit
I just wanna be like Kacey's awesome father, Matthew
I ain't no troll, but I am here to give a try