The Recruiter's Song
[Jonny d’Ville] “And so, in the reign of Queen George the 7th, it came to pass that the Moon Kaiser commissioned the construction of a vast lunar cannon, aimed directly at London. Soon, every man, woman and child strong enough to hold a rifle was conscripted and sent off to fight for Queen and Country. I was serving in the 42nd Starborne Division, while Tim was still busy being mortal. Like an idiot. I can almost hear the recruiter's ad now…”
Grab yourself a laser, lad, and serve your queen
With a smile, smile, smile
Light 'em with your lucifer and burn ’em clean
Smile boys, that's the style
Come on a grand adventure
Against a foe most vile
So, grab yourself a laser, lad, and serve your queen
With a smile, smile, smile
[Jovial Whistling]
“Come on boys!
The Moon's not so far away and we'll be home by Christmas. Let's give the Kaiser a damn good thrashing. Lenny won't know what hit him! So join the Starborne Infantry and serve your country.”
Gassed Last Night
[Jonny d'Ville] “Of course, when Tim arrived, alongside his best friend Bertie, it was a very different story indeed. The surface of the moon had been deserted for centuries, so all the fighting took place in the vast caverns and tunnels that riddled it
“It was muddy, it was dusty, it was cold. And most of the time it was pitch dark, aside from muzzled flashes or your comrades catching fire as the invisible beam of heat swept through No Man's Land
“And aside from that, you always had to keep one ear open for the alarms. If it was a gas attack, you could usually get to a respirator in time, or maybe even trust the pumps to take care of it. But if it was a microwave attack, you had to get to one of your foxholes and cover yourself in lead, or you’d be cooked from the inside out. I was having a great time. But Tim and Bertie found their own ways to deal with it…”
[Verse 1]
Gassed last night, and gassed the night before
Gonna be gassed tonight if we’re never gassed no more
When you're gassed, you’re sick as you can be
‘Cause novichok and mustard gas are much too much for me
[Jonny d’Ville] “And so, in the reign of Queen George the 7th, it came to pass that the Moon Kaiser commissioned the construction of a vast lunar cannon, aimed directly at London. Soon, every man, woman and child strong enough to hold a rifle was conscripted and sent off to fight for Queen and Country. I was serving in the 42nd Starborne Division, while Tim was still busy being mortal. Like an idiot. I can almost hear the recruiter's ad now…”
Grab yourself a laser, lad, and serve your queen
With a smile, smile, smile
Light 'em with your lucifer and burn ’em clean
Smile boys, that's the style
Come on a grand adventure
Against a foe most vile
So, grab yourself a laser, lad, and serve your queen
With a smile, smile, smile
[Jovial Whistling]
“Come on boys!
The Moon's not so far away and we'll be home by Christmas. Let's give the Kaiser a damn good thrashing. Lenny won't know what hit him! So join the Starborne Infantry and serve your country.”
Gassed Last Night
[Jonny d'Ville] “Of course, when Tim arrived, alongside his best friend Bertie, it was a very different story indeed. The surface of the moon had been deserted for centuries, so all the fighting took place in the vast caverns and tunnels that riddled it
“It was muddy, it was dusty, it was cold. And most of the time it was pitch dark, aside from muzzled flashes or your comrades catching fire as the invisible beam of heat swept through No Man's Land
“And aside from that, you always had to keep one ear open for the alarms. If it was a gas attack, you could usually get to a respirator in time, or maybe even trust the pumps to take care of it. But if it was a microwave attack, you had to get to one of your foxholes and cover yourself in lead, or you’d be cooked from the inside out. I was having a great time. But Tim and Bertie found their own ways to deal with it…”
[Verse 1]
Gassed last night, and gassed the night before
Gonna be gassed tonight if we’re never gassed no more
When you're gassed, you’re sick as you can be
‘Cause novichok and mustard gas are much too much for me
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