4for1 K.A.A.N.

[Verse 1]​
As a child I dealt with abuse, I'm fusing pain with the mic
Felt like the world was on my shoulders, took attempts on my life
I understand that isn't healthy
Like, how the fuck could it help me?
Reflecting as an adult and realising I was selfish, but
You couldn't tell me no different
Try all you want I'm not listening
We had no shelter or place we could turn
This shit is routine and the lesson I learned
Is keep your mouth shut, the more quiet you are
No yelling or screaming inside of the house
Cause that wasn't ever allowed
See, I wasn't raised to believe I could possibly be anything that I wanted
There is no support for the kid with the home that is hectic
We were dissented
Tell me the way I should go
Everything I should already know
All the emotions I'm willing to show
My adolescence, progression, and growth were stunted
So I'm feeling mentally stuck
I live on the edge and I don't give a fuck
A handful of pills, that was never enough
The way that I cope with this is living this up
But if I recall we had been through it all
You niggas are speaking no problems of poverty
As if you actually seen it
But bitch, when we lived in that trailer we never had nothing but roaches around and we couldn't complain
My parents would bicker, it's always the same
My mother was picking us up after school
We'd be in the back of that old station waggon
96.3 on the radio blastin'
Smokey Robinson would have us relaxin'
Quiet Storm before we step in the madness
All of the peace that we had is now past us
Walk in the door but there's yelling and screaming
There wasn't a place where I ever felt safe
And I couldn't relate to the kids that I saw
Cause I felt that they all had it better than me
Cause they don't have to deal with the shit that I deal with
I stay in the middle of arguments
Shitting myself and believing this shit is my fault
Every time they would fight it was grief
Closing my eyes and my ears in my room
When I opened them up, man, that shit never ceased
And I want to be free but there's nowhere to leave
I wondered why people keep fucking with me
Cause when I was in school they would tell me I'm slow
Cause I never attend anything I was told
So they put it on me like that shit was my fault
Cause there couldn't be something that was in the way or the place that I stay
Cause I never got help
My mother got tired from busting her ass
Like, dropping us off and then going to work and then picking us up and then bringing us home
To a man that appreciates nothing at all
While he burning a cigarette, staining the wall
Monday through Saturday crushing us all
But gets up on Sunday to go praise the lord
But there's no time to time in those moments to spare
I figured it out, that life isn't fair
So do what you can
Cause nobody cares
It's all about loving the memories that you have made in your happiness while you are here
I pray that you live without fear
And you never think you're in need of materials just to complete you
Cause that ain't the truth
Don't be dependent on things that can dissipate or disappear when you need them the most
Lawd! Ey, knowledge, nigga