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PHYLACTERY - The Narcissist Cookbook
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PHYLACTERY - The Narcissist Cookbook
[Intro]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this vessel. Please listen very carefully to the following safety announcements
[Spoken]
I know I'm not going to be doing myself any favors with this comparison, but
Leonard Cohen wrote 80 verses to "Hallelujah" before he settled on the final five
Sometimes
The results of our labor justify the lengths that we go to get there
This is not one of those times
I am so tired of this song cluttering up the worktable in my mind
But I am not yet ready for it to be gone
It was meant to be for my dad, in case that wasn't obvious
And that's how the problem began
Ever-eager as I am to fling every egg I can find into the closest basket I have to hand
I decided
That this song would be The Song, capital T capital S
That it would be where I digest all of those undesirable emotions all at once
And it felt healthy, even, at the time
To have somewhere to put them, somewhere they could be herded together, and ringfenced
And I dove into that process like I always do
Smug and confident that I would be able to hold my breath and reach the bottom and bring back something beautiful to show everyone
And it would be done
And I wouldn't have to think about this anymore
And I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore
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