The first time I ate avocado was so amazing that I came
And that was the first time that I came so the only thing I could compare it to is the taste of avocado. Almost the same
The first time I got high, I ran into my friend’s bedroom and I hung onto each corner of the mattress because I knew that I would be flung into space if I didn’t hold tight
Two years before that I went to my first concert. I was high all night. And the first time someone clapped for me on stage I floated three inches off the pavement walking home
Only one girl has ever really wrapped my stomach into pretzels. She didn’t give me butterflies. She gave me pterodactyls
I’m talking terrible internal bruising and the first time I kissed her was like the first time I saw fireworks, which was like the sky first kissing me in the eyeballs
In high school the self-defense counselor taught us that to defend ourselves against a rapist, by sticking a thumb into the corner of his eye socket and popping it out like a grape
Babe, for the chance to be with you, I would pop my own eyeballs out and say, "Here. I only have eyes for you."
So everywhere you went you’d carry me around in your pocket and every time you pulled out a handful of loose change I’d get to wink at you and a thousand miles away you would think of how charming I am— me— weaving blindly through LA traffic. You— in some bullshit other place
But you shouldn’t leave first times until the end of summer
Because you went off to college, years passed, and I realized I was the only one calling anymore
And that first kiss hardened into the last. My love : retarded, preserved, a pterodactyl in a tar pit, the music over before it started, a lost guitar pick
I’ve stopped trying to match it, searching for that magical attachment
Because marriages are not fucking Disney
Bad marriages are sandcastles
Good marriages are McDonald’s hamburgers
You can leave a good marriage on a plate in the sun for fifty years and it stays pretty much the same
They key, I hear, is to fight routine— to make the smallest moments gleam and mean something
And that was the first time that I came so the only thing I could compare it to is the taste of avocado. Almost the same
The first time I got high, I ran into my friend’s bedroom and I hung onto each corner of the mattress because I knew that I would be flung into space if I didn’t hold tight
Two years before that I went to my first concert. I was high all night. And the first time someone clapped for me on stage I floated three inches off the pavement walking home
Only one girl has ever really wrapped my stomach into pretzels. She didn’t give me butterflies. She gave me pterodactyls
I’m talking terrible internal bruising and the first time I kissed her was like the first time I saw fireworks, which was like the sky first kissing me in the eyeballs
In high school the self-defense counselor taught us that to defend ourselves against a rapist, by sticking a thumb into the corner of his eye socket and popping it out like a grape
Babe, for the chance to be with you, I would pop my own eyeballs out and say, "Here. I only have eyes for you."
So everywhere you went you’d carry me around in your pocket and every time you pulled out a handful of loose change I’d get to wink at you and a thousand miles away you would think of how charming I am— me— weaving blindly through LA traffic. You— in some bullshit other place
But you shouldn’t leave first times until the end of summer
Because you went off to college, years passed, and I realized I was the only one calling anymore
And that first kiss hardened into the last. My love : retarded, preserved, a pterodactyl in a tar pit, the music over before it started, a lost guitar pick
I’ve stopped trying to match it, searching for that magical attachment
Because marriages are not fucking Disney
Bad marriages are sandcastles
Good marriages are McDonald’s hamburgers
You can leave a good marriage on a plate in the sun for fifty years and it stays pretty much the same
They key, I hear, is to fight routine— to make the smallest moments gleam and mean something
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