The Real Slim Shady (Murda Mixtape Version) Eminem

[Over intro]
'Eyo, what's going on, my name is Eminem and you're listening to the Stretch Armstrong and Whoo Kid mixtape, stupid
The Murda Mixtape; if you don't like it suck my penis
You know that little thing

[Intro]
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

[Verse 1]
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam
Like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, (Whoo Kid!) throwing her over furniture {Aww!}
It's the return of the… "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around, grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to (What!?) hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss (Get back!)
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes, then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (Eugh)
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes…