The Main Character Will Wood

[Verse 1]
I'm that first person they talk about in all the books
I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don't do it by it

[Pre-Chorus]
So now I'm holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this!
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground
'Cause if you shake your fist at snakes in grass
It looks like punching down

[Chorus]
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy
Don't come at me
I'm the main character and you have to like me

[Verse 2]
I loot plot armor from NPC’s
Well, they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats; it's all XP
Look in the sky, it's a bird! It’s a plane! No, it's superego!
The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero