You Can Call Me Al Paul Simon

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[Verse 1]
A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I soft in the middle now?
Why am I soft in the middle?
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard"

[Pre-Chorus]
Bone digger, bone digger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away in my well-lit door
Mr. Beer belly, Beer belly
Get these mutts away from me
You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

[Chorus]
If you'd be my bodyguard
I can be your long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al

[Verse 2]
A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention
And, woah, my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family?
What if I die here?
Who'll be my role model
Now that my role model is gone, gone?"
[Pre-Chorus]
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

[Chorus]
If you'd be my bodyguard
I can be your long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al, call me Al

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the third world
Maybe it's his first time around
Doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound, the sound