thank u, next (Quotes) Ariana Grande

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[Colleen Ballinger (spoken)]
One time, on Twitter, I heard Ariana was pregnant
So I got pregnant so we could be pregnant at the same time
Turns out it was just a rumor

[Jonathan Bennett (spoken)]
Ariana Grande told me my hair looks sexy pushed back
She's not wrong

[Stefanie Drummond (spoken)]
Ariana broke off an engagement
So I found a guy to propose to me
And I broke off an engagement

[Troye Sivan (spoken)]
I heard she's a lesbian now
And dating some chick called Aubrey
It's fucking sick

[Scott Nicholson (spoken)]
I heard if you recorded her snoring
And play it backwards it sounds like Fantasia

[Gabi DeMartino (spoken)]
Ariana said, "Honest to God knock me out"
So I decided to punch myself in the face
It was awesome